To stay or to go? It is the one question that women who are in, or have experienced domestic violence, always ask themselves before they do…or don’t leave.
In this three part series, the following excerpt from the self help guidebook – ‘This Time Next Year…your guidebook to life freedom’ – shines a light on why that question is asked and some guidance on making the decision that is right for you.
Chapter 1 – I have walked away from my marriage and, as I write this chapter, the word ‘courage’ comes to mind. Courage because as a woman over 50, especially during a global pandemic, it would have been far better to stay in the marriage for reasons of both financial security and accommodation.
However, my emotional pain was fast manifesting into physical pain and the ‘Jaynie’ I used to know was becoming a distant memory.
For quite some time, in fact a couple of years by this stage, a constant internal question was ‘stay or go?’ Many women tell me they had the same alternatives circling their minds for a long time before they acted.
The answer did not come easily to any of us. In fact there is never one simple answer. That, I am sure, is why the pain and heartache is so real.
To the outside world, ours was a perfect marriage. The reality was very different. My ego, that relentless internal rationalist dedicated to quietening my gut instincts, awoke and filled my mind with all of the practical reasons why I should stay.
‘Where will you go? Why would you leave the comfortable space you are in? Just put up with it,’ and so on.
This is when we have to enlist our heart and feed it every day with a ‘vision of the future’.
The following is the short version of what continues to assist in this chapter – The first step is for you to discover how your intuition speaks to you. (this is covered in this chapter).
The second step is self trust. Anxiety and depression can be a sign you are not living the way you know you should and part of trusting yourself is identifying what you are afraid of. The second half of this chapter provides a step by step guide to start to create your plan for ‘this time next year’.
Next issue, I will share some of the steps on creating the financial security plan from the book.
If you would like to order your personally signed copy at the special Plains Producer price of only $19.95, plus postage, please email info@jayniemorris.com for details.
